Month: October 2024

Looking Back

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My birthday is next week — 78 years of learning how to do life. Some of the time I think I have it down to a science, but other times I think I never will get it right. However, even with more left to learn than is even remotely possible, my life is satisfying, and I am okay with it. I have heard it said that the one with the best memories wins at life. Maybe I am in the running.

I remember being small enough for my dad to lift me above his head and spin around, both of us laughing and looking into his green eyes twinkling with the joy of the moment. I remember him lifting me up to see my grandmother for the last time in her coffin and his explanation of where she was now when I asked. Most adults just said she was in heaven, but my dad took me outside in the evening to look up to the sky. He said “See that star just near the curve of the moon? Bammy lives behind that star.” Now I know better and knew better just a few short years later, but for the curious five-year-old I was this explanation was perfect. My dad is in most of my best early life memories.

Later there are so many memories from around the campfire. My family camped out on the shore of a lake from Memorial Day until Labor Day every summer for about five years when I was in high school. My brothers, my sister, parents, a couple of cousins and a few friends lived in tents and spent our days playing on the water, hanging out at the beach with a few hundred other people, playing hide and seek in the woods and gathering around a fire almost every evening for stories, silly games, and just gazing at the flames and coals well into the night. Those were the most carefree days of my life and I am still grateful to my parents for them.

I remember falling in love and getting married. The wedding was uneventful, but the marriage has been an adventure. The births of my son and daughter taught me about a new kind of love. The kind that overwhelms and thrills at the same time. Their tiny hands fascinated me and their sweet smell after a bath soothed my very soul. My husband and I were happy, proud parents. We also were a fun couple. We went dancing, to parties, entertained friends and hosted family for special occasions. We played golf together and did the usual parent attendance at baseball, swim team meets, cub scouts and brownie scouts events and all the school programs. Those were such busy times that went by too fast.

Then, when our nest was empty, I remember buying a little houseboat and spending several years making new friends at the marina and cruising around the lake. After work almost every Friday it was hurry home to stock the cooler, stop at the grocery and liquor store and get to the boat in time for happy hour. Those were some of the very best adult days.

Since then there have been grandchildren and then great grandchildren to love on and play with. Retirement has been special with lazy days, a little travel now and then and time to appreciate all that we worked for.

So, maybe I am the best memories winner.

Looking Back

Sensory Overload

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At the end of a busy day with good music playing I sat down with a novel that I am about half-way through with a glass of wine and a plate of cheese at my side, the dog sleeping at my feet and feeling all cozy in my soft robe and fuzzy slippers. I was still warm from my bath and enjoying the scent of lavender from a candle on the table and from the powder on my body. All my favorite relaxers at once. Oh, yeah, and just a tiny buzz from the gummy I had before the bath. Too much? Maybe, but man did I feel good. Good all over.

Then the husband came to sit beside me and I rested my head on his shoulder. It probably doesn’t get better than this. I could probably do this just about every evening, but would it become ordinary? Does one need the crazy days in order to appreciate the great ones? I think probably so. Human nature seems to require that we always desire more or better. Even my desire to repeat that perfect evening is a wish for more, even if it’s more of the same.

When I am content with the current situation it seems that after a bit of time I wish I could share my happiness with someone who can’t be here or wish to be in a place I visited that I want to return to. A memory of a past time sneaks into my mind and I wish I could do that again. I think maybe this perfect time might be just a bit better with a fireplace or a hot tub to finish it off. Perhaps being content is not my natural state. However, I am looking forward to having another perfect evening soon and I will try to just love it and leave wishing for more alone.

Sensory Overload

My Principles

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Daily writing prompt
What principles define how you live?
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First and foremost integrity is my guiding principle. To be honest to myself and about myself. To be trustworthy and reliable. It’s about more than telling the truth, meeting responsibilities and only promising what can actually be done. It’s about staying real and not changing to accommodate other people’s expectations. I was fortunate to have a good example to follow in my dad. My hope is to pass that legacy on to grandkids.

My Principles

My Dull Day

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Usually when I sit down to write here I choose to explore the mundane and ordinary; you know, my life. A good day, like this one, would include some exercise, something good to eat, quiet time with the husband and not so quiet time with the great grandkids and a glass of good wine before bed. Today I also had a phone visit with my brother in Tampa talking about the coming hurricane.

My brother has been in Tampa since he graduated from college about fifty years ago so he has hunkered down to ride out a storm or two and has it down pat. In his younger days he would have a hurricane party with friends but we are more mature now and don’t party as much or as hard. Still, from up here in Kentucky I get a bit concerned.

My neighborhood is just as ordinary as I am. When my children were young and in school the houses on our block mostly had families with children who ventured from one house to another to play and rode their bikes all over our little town. This was in the 70’s when kids knew to get home before the streetlights came on and every parent was a host to all the kids their children knew. Now all those kids are approaching middle age and the houses in my neighborhood are mostly the dwelling place of folks who live alone. Across the street is a single father with teenagers, three widows and one elderly couple, no kids. On my side of the street we have a couple next door on one side and an elderly single man on the other. Behind us there is a single man and an empty house where the widower died a few months ago. It’s mostly quiet here. It’s an easy place to be.

I wouldn’t want to appear terribly dull. We do go places and do things. There are festivals of many kinds here at our park and in nearby towns that we like to attend. I particularly like finding good music and maybe a drink or two to wile away an evening. We have a boat moored at a marina on Kentucky lake and spend summer days soaking up sun and making boat trips to lakeside villages for a meal or event. When we travel it usually includes visiting family or friends. With my brother in Tampa and our son in New Hampshire we have toured some great places with each of them. It’s nice to be retired and able to just go if so inclined. Some days we get in the car, pick a direction, and drive. Maybe see a road that we haven’t been down, so we go to see where it winds up. Once found a farm down a country lane that makes cheeses and ships them all over the country. The smoked gouda is my favorite. Only once that I can recall we actually got lost and saw a whole lot more of Southern Illinois than planned.

My Dull Day

I Love Babies

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Probably my love for babies had it’s beginning when I was three and a half years old and my baby brother was born. So tiny and helpless and for me fascinating. As he grew and could be left in his play pen for a while and it became my job to watch him. Literally, mom said “Watch your brother. Call me if he cries”. He mostly just slept or amused himself with his toys. I sat cross legged on the floor looking at a book or building towers of blocks. Later there was a sister when I was eight and I was involved in her care to the extent an eight-year-old could be trusted to do so. About four years later there was another sister, but she had a heart defect that could not be fixed and only lived four days. All my family was devastated.

Along the way there have been baby cousins, friends and neighbors that I spent time with. My first job was, of course, babysitting. I was about thirteen when I sat with infant twins for a few hours in the evenings. That could be challenging at times but was such a joy. Sitting in a rocking chair with a baby on each arm and their bottles held in my hand. Had to learn to stand up with them, drop the bottles by the sink and gently put them down to sleep.

When my own babies came along in my early twenties, I was ready. The moms, my mother and mother-in-law were not all that sure and offered lots of advice. I listened and followed my instincts. It worked, apparently, because both my son and daughter grew all the way up. My favorite memories of the babies are the common moments. The warm, sweet smell after the bath. The milky, toothless grins. The first laugh and word. That shaky first step. Those little arms reaching to be picked up and the sweet peace of their head sleeping on your shoulder.

I fell in love in a new way when I had my children. But oh, the delight that is grandchildren. First my daughter gave us a grandson who captured my and my husband’s hearts. Then my son had his daughter a few months later and she was so sweet and also so very loved. Babysitting was my absolute pleasure and I did it as often as possible. Neither of my children’s first marriages survived, so I got a new daughter-in-law and son-in-law and subsequently another granddaughter, two grandson’s and a step granddaughter who is the same as mine in my heart. All the grandchildren had baths in my kitchen sink, slept on quilt on the floor at my feet and stayed the night fairly often.

One more time I lost my heart completely with the birth of my great-granddaughter. She lived in my house with her mother and father for a time so I could share her special moments and I was over the moon happy with her. But it gets better. Another great-granddaughter, a different personality from her sister and totally wonderful. Some time passed and my granddaughter’s family moved to a place of their own. Then one day she told me there was to be baby boy. Oh, my. I thought about how hard it was going to be with three little ones for her. But for me? Wow! One more baby to love. Time to go shopping for some blue blankets and jammies.

The three great-grandchildren live only a block away from my house so I get to see them often. The girls come to visit and play outside where we have a big back yard. They ride scooters and bikes on my driveway and collect leaves and rocks and ask many questions. They are my joy. The littlest is walking and jabbering now and is a treat every time I see him. He’s so happy almost all the time and that smile is better than sunshine.

As each of the kids and grandkids grew up I often thought my baby days might be over. When my children graduated high school I felt that my babies were gone. But not too much later here came the grands. As they got to be teenagers I felt that same little prick. Then my granddaughter had the greats and here I am wiping sticky fingers and chocolate faces, playing peek-a-boo, and buying toys on every grocery run. Maybe my baby days are over now that I am considerably older myself. Or, maybe not.

I Love Babies