Christmas 1959. It all begins right after Thanksgiving with the party to trim the tree. There are nine of us living in the house. Mom and Dad, my brother and sister, our two foster brothers and two cousins. Each of us kids have invited a friend; great aunt Louise is always included in our festivities, and Mom and Dad have included some friends. Dad and the boys have found a nice Cedar tree about six feet tall and thick with branches. Dad has put on the strings of lights, managed to replace most of the burnt-out bulbs and secured the tree stand well enough we probably won’t knock the whole thing over. There are a few boxes of old ornaments to be reused every year, new garland of tinsel and a bowl of popcorn to be strung with a needle and heavy thread. This chore goes to me mostly and I drafted my best friend to help.

Before anything goes on the tree we have punch or egg nog and cookies. There’s fruit cake and lots of fudge too. Then, with a bunch of sugar high kids bouncing around and itching to get started we all pick an ornament and place it carefully on a branch, then another and another until the last glass globe is hung and Dad places the foil star at the top. Viola! The season of magic has begun

The old white house on the corner if filled with music, laughter, smells, way too much food, family, friends and neighbors on Christmas day. First thing in the morning is opening all the packages and pretending for the youngest that Santa left the toys that are not wrapped. Breakfast is biscuits and bacon washed down with orange juice and then we all pitch in putting everything away and get dressed in special clothes for the occasion.

About mid-morning the part of the holiday that I love best begins when the aunts and uncles begin to drop in with my cousins. We all have cookies and snacks and brag, or even gloat, about what we got for Christmas. While the adults have coffee in the dining room I get out a game to play in the living room floor. After an hour or so they all leave and we straighten up the place and put out lunch. Mom has outdone herself again with ham, turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, green beans, baked beans, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, and hot rolls. Soon our closest family friends show up and we all enjoy the food in the company of chosen family. When everyone is filled up the kids are tasked with cleaning up the kitchen before playing. We really feel like a nap, but while we were doing dishes Aunt Louise has settled at the piano and those not on kitchen duty are singing carols.

Aunt Louise is an accomplished musician and a family friend, Bobby, is also talented at the piano, so they play together. As the afternoon wears on and Aunt Louise and Bobby each have a cocktail the music changes from hymns to boogie woogie and Mom and one of the cousins are dancing. Soon most of us are dancing and singing and the old house rattles a bit. My dad and the older cousins are smoking and playing cards at the dining room table. They have a beer or two and the tales begin. That time two of the cousins got caught sneaking a chew of grandpa’s tobacco and threw up all over the place. That time one of the uncles fell off a mule. Stories they all had heard before but all laughed one more tiime.

Finally the day is done. We have put the house back in order, mostly. After just one more piece of cake I have gone to my room and settled in my bed with a new book. The boys and my sister have gone to bed and Mom and Dad are in the living room with a cup of chocolate to finish the day.

There have been many, many holiday celebrations since then, each special in its own way, but I would be ecstatic to relive one from my youth with all my special people in one place, feeling happy and secure. What I do now though is celebrate the family I made with my husband and make this season as bright and warm as I possibly can. Looking forward to a different kind of joy with the craziness of small children’s excitement and the sweet pleasure of my family all together in my house.

Well, I survived November again this year. It may get easier some day and I hope it does. Now moving into the holiday season with a vengeance. So busy that I haven’t made time to write about my days or events, but I am enjoying myself so much. Thanksgiving was a success with great food (I really can cook) and the company of many of my favorite people. No fussing and fighting and plenty of laughter. I wish everyone could have it so good.

I found some holiday spirit somewhere and now the decorating and shopping and baking have begun. I dragged out all the trees, wreaths, candles and even found a bunch of mistletoe to hang up. My son will be here with his family, my granddaughter with her husband and three kids and my grandson with his girlfriend. That is most of those I love to spend time with. I wish my brother could be here too, but maybe next year.

It’s interesting to me how life changes from stage to stage and how little we know about what comes next and how surprising it is to be content with circumstances that once would have been boring beyond belief. In younger days fun was always an active thing. I loved to do something, to experience it rather than observe. An evening out had to include dancing, or bowling, or roller skating and the company of others doing the same thing. Loved to host parties and meet new people.

Then we added children to the mix and fun included birthday parties, cub scouts and brownies, little league and swim team. When I think back to my young mother self I am amazed at just how much I could do in a day. I loved those times of constant activity and time with my children and their friends. Kids can make one see the world through fresh eyes. They can also challenge your patience and warm your heart, maybe at the same time. When the kids became teenagers they preferred the company of their peers to hanging out with mom, so the letting go process began.

Then suddenly they were grown, got married and started their own families. That’s when the husband and I moved to the empty nest phase. It was great, at first, and we spent time together with friends doing grown up things. We played golf and got into boating. Days moved a bit less frantically and there was more time to enjoy peaceful days.

I am not real sure how to label the next phase. The one that added the responsibility of aging parents at the same time grandchildren were a priority and pleasure. There is less time for social life in this stage and many of the friends we enjoyed were also limited in spare time due to family needs. A typical day would include giving a parent, child or grandchild a ride to work, school or the doctor before going to the office. Then at the end of the day check on a parent, make dinner and baby sit a grandchild so their parent can have a bit of time on their own. This time had as many obligations as being a young mother but not quite as many pleasures.

Retirement made handling it all bit easier and then the parents passed away and there were all the arrangements to handle. The stuff to find something to do with and the estate to manage. And, the empty place they left behind to figure out and adjust to. We all expect to become adult orphans somewhere in middle age, but preparing for it doesn’t really help. As with so much, life after the loss of our parents is not what we expected.

Now I suppose this stage is trying to accept that I am elderly. I don’t feel elderly, but at seventy-eight the label is appropriate. I play with three great grandchildren and manage to keep up with them. I can still do most of what I want except sit in a full lotus and get up from the floor quickly. My world is smaller in many ways. Once there were many, many people to be with and share life with. Now those I grew up with are mostly gone, either dead or far away or just settled down to stay home a lot. It’s like when I was a baby my world was mom and dad and those in our household. As time went by there was extended family added and then school friends and co-workers, and neighbors. Now my world is back to mostly my household and close family. I suspect eventually it will be just my son and grands as my life winds down and finally ends.