Well, I survived November again this year. It may get easier some day and I hope it does. Now moving into the holiday season with a vengeance. So busy that I haven’t made time to write about my days or events, but I am enjoying myself so much. Thanksgiving was a success with great food (I really can cook) and the company of many of my favorite people. No fussing and fighting and plenty of laughter. I wish everyone could have it so good.

I found some holiday spirit somewhere and now the decorating and shopping and baking have begun. I dragged out all the trees, wreaths, candles and even found a bunch of mistletoe to hang up. My son will be here with his family, my granddaughter with her husband and three kids and my grandson with his girlfriend. That is most of those I love to spend time with. I wish my brother could be here too, but maybe next year.

It’s interesting to me how life changes from stage to stage and how little we know about what comes next and how surprising it is to be content with circumstances that once would have been boring beyond belief. In younger days fun was always an active thing. I loved to do something, to experience it rather than observe. An evening out had to include dancing, or bowling, or roller skating and the company of others doing the same thing. Loved to host parties and meet new people.

Then we added children to the mix and fun included birthday parties, cub scouts and brownies, little league and swim team. When I think back to my young mother self I am amazed at just how much I could do in a day. I loved those times of constant activity and time with my children and their friends. Kids can make one see the world through fresh eyes. They can also challenge your patience and warm your heart, maybe at the same time. When the kids became teenagers they preferred the company of their peers to hanging out with mom, so the letting go process began.

Then suddenly they were grown, got married and started their own families. That’s when the husband and I moved to the empty nest phase. It was great, at first, and we spent time together with friends doing grown up things. We played golf and got into boating. Days moved a bit less frantically and there was more time to enjoy peaceful days.

I am not real sure how to label the next phase. The one that added the responsibility of aging parents at the same time grandchildren were a priority and pleasure. There is less time for social life in this stage and many of the friends we enjoyed were also limited in spare time due to family needs. A typical day would include giving a parent, child or grandchild a ride to work, school or the doctor before going to the office. Then at the end of the day check on a parent, make dinner and baby sit a grandchild so their parent can have a bit of time on their own. This time had as many obligations as being a young mother but not quite as many pleasures.

Retirement made handling it all bit easier and then the parents passed away and there were all the arrangements to handle. The stuff to find something to do with and the estate to manage. And, the empty place they left behind to figure out and adjust to. We all expect to become adult orphans somewhere in middle age, but preparing for it doesn’t really help. As with so much, life after the loss of our parents is not what we expected.

Now I suppose this stage is trying to accept that I am elderly. I don’t feel elderly, but at seventy-eight the label is appropriate. I play with three great grandchildren and manage to keep up with them. I can still do most of what I want except sit in a full lotus and get up from the floor quickly. My world is smaller in many ways. Once there were many, many people to be with and share life with. Now those I grew up with are mostly gone, either dead or far away or just settled down to stay home a lot. It’s like when I was a baby my world was mom and dad and those in our household. As time went by there was extended family added and then school friends and co-workers, and neighbors. Now my world is back to mostly my household and close family. I suspect eventually it will be just my son and grands as my life winds down and finally ends.